Crossing the Line - Part One

Written by M. the Cat
Madame_Destine@yahoo.com

Author’s note: The following is based on the Madame Destine story "Kaleidoscope Eyes" Please read that story to learn the events Matt and Elisa refer to. However it isn’t set in that or any other ficverse. It occupies a place and time of its own.

Thanks to Mooncat for setting me off on this little tangent.

Feedback please!

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From Elisa’s diary…

I had that dream again today, the one about Matt.

I don’t get this. I really don’t. I love Goliath. We’ve worked so hard to get where we are. Yes, we’ve had our share of rough times along with the good. But ever since that night, that awful night, when our society blackmail sting went bad things have been different between all of us. How could they not be? Under the influence of a rhohypnol-type gas Matt thought I’d come on to him. He thought I needed him. And he had needed me. In his drug befuddled mind we made love.

I never did get any more than that out of him. Other than the fact it’d been consensual and I’d started it, that is. I was curious. How could I not be? Maybe that’s when the trouble started because after that night I never could quite look at him the same way again.

And I wasn’t the only one. Since then I’ve caught him at odd times checking me out. Sometimes he’d have an odd little smile on his face that didn’t match the dull routine of a stakeout or a paper chase and then I’d know that he was reliving that night, those moments, when he and I had crossed the line.

He really is a good-looking guy. He’s muscled, but not in an overblown obvious way. His suits are always tailored unlike the off the rack from Sears stuff most of the other detectives wear. I guess I was lucky that we didn’t hit it right off as partners because otherwise I probably would have been a lot more vulnerable to his offbeat sense of humor and that quirky charm of his. No. I’m glad things happened the way the did. It allowed us to bond slowly.

I’ve come to depend on him. Which makes these feelings all the more impossible.

We had a moment on shift last night. We were doing warehouse surveillance while eating fast food takeout. It was all so typical we’d probably done it a hundred times. One eye on the warehouse, one hand balancing a burger we both reached for the fries on the dashboard at the same time and our fingers touched. A perfectly innocent thing, right? Right?

It didn’t feel innocent. To be honest and I am finally being honest, it felt pretty damn good. Suddenly, I was less interested in the fries and more interested in sucking the salt off his fingers.

He gave me a funny look. Not "Hey! You’ve had yours." It was more like he understood what I was thinking and was hoping I’d follow through. He swallowed really hard, the way he does when he’s trying to buy time. Just before it got completely awkward our guy showed. I’ve never been so relieved to see a two-time loser in my entire life. At least I think it was relief. Yes, relief. Definitely not disappointment.

I guess that’s why I had the dream. In my dream there was no small time thug to interrupt as Matt pulled me into his embrace and kissed me like he had the night of the party. I remember that kiss- hot and needful and gentle all at the same time. Even better than the one in the elevator car the night we were hiding from Tony Dracon.

We came up for air and stared at each other in amazement. He hesitated. I hesitated but only for a moment. Then I grabbed him by the necktie and pulled him in for another one of those sweet-hot kisses.

It was like coming home.

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Matt’s Journal…[decrypted]

I thought I put this behind me when I decided to try and fix things with Sara. But I haven’t. Not really. Elisa has been on my mind nearly nonstop since the night of that stupid sting that went wrong.

I told her that night I didn’t love her.

I lied.

I had to. If I admitted I had feelings for her she’d request a new partner. She would tell me it was for my own good, no doubt about it. Elisa’s like that.

Mr. Jaffee used to tell me that half a piece of bread is better than none. If I can’t be Elisa’s lover then I will be her partner and her friend. She needs me.

But it’s hard. Last night, oh man, that was a close one. We were sitting in her car in front of yet another industrial warehouse because we’d had a tip that the lowlife who broke in the week before might be back again. We’re having our usual greasy burgers and coffee that will etch acid if not for the fake creamer and I reach for the dash to get some fries.

The only problem is Elisa’s got her hand in the tray already and my fingers touch hers. Oh man. How can something so inconsequential make me so crazy?

The thing is… and this is nuts… Elisa’s looking at me with her tongue poised just so between her teeth and I swear her fingers flexed around mine.

At that moment I would have given almost anything to be a french fry.

Then our perp showed up, damn him.

It must have been a trick of the light. Elisa couldn’t seriously have been thinking about sucking on my fingers, could she?

Everything isn’t roses between her and Goliath. It’s not that he doesn’t love her. He does. It’s obvious in a hundred little ways. The way he looks at her even when she’s not looking up at him. The way he touches her hair. It makes me crazy sometimes to see them together.

But Goliath isn’t perfect. The leader of Clan Manhattan has his flaws. There’s that pesky jealous streak and every once and a while his temper has been known to get the better of him.

I’ve seen him angry before. I worry about her. Heck, I worry about me if he ever finds out how I really feel about Elisa. But how can I protect her when she goes to him willingly?

I guess that’s why I’ve been dreaming about her. I keep reliving that perfect moment when she put her arms around my neck and kissed me so sweetly. Her lips are soft, so feather light as she explores my mouth with hers. Then she clings to me in earnest and I know. I know that she is, at least for a little time, mine.

And I am happy.

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Part Two